Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
