you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
