You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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