i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
