God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
