There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
