the condom got lost in my hair
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
