# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
