Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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