but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
