My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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