I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
