Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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