my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
