He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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