So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
