Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
