I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
