good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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