Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
