Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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