What did we do last night that was yellow?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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