If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
