She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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