so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
