i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
