You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
