drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
