There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
