Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there is puke in my bra ... again
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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