Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
