i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We are all done wearing pants today
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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