Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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