They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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