worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
