If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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