i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
