If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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