so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
