Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
