We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
