Yo dont text me then not text me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
