i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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