He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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