If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
