there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
