Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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