How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
