On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
