will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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