dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
