I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
