Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
