I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i need an iv and a liver transplant
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
